Bumbling down another River

How you doin’? I asked Indomitable Felix, after a night on a sandy riverbank under a clear, jet-black starry sky. We both pretended not to be stiff or limping. He’s been fitted with spare parts made of yards of titanium, used plastic buckets, steel tubing, iron bars and crushed Tafel beer cans, but after considering the question for half a second he announced with a huge grin, “Swanie, I’m RIDDLED with good health.”

Had I asked him the same question forty two years earlier on a riverbank fifteen thousand kilometres NW of the riverbank we were now on, I’ve no doubt the answer would have been in much the same vein. That was the last time we’d been on a river trip together.

….
I knew this Felix Unite trip was going to be great, with good people, good grub, spectacular scenery, and that we would be fine with the unknowns – the weather and the water level.
It actually turned out amazing above and beyond. Felix’s gang of friends were terrific. They love the man, and they included and accepted me warmly. The food was next level; Felix’s men were skilled, well-trained, friendly and genuinely helpful. The weather and the river level fine-chooned themselves skilfully to be friendly and helpful; the moon also obligingly tucked away behind the western hills early so the ink-black sky could be at peak clarity. We had twenty four stars on the river and a billion in the sky.

And then to me the biggest tell – the thing I loved the most of all on this magic float down his river: The way he, as the founder and legend they had heard about from their fathers and uncles, treated his men; mucking in and helping them, coaching them, telling them the forty-year history of his famous river adventure company. He strummed his guitar round the kitchen fire, singing off-key and in-choon both, them joining in when they could. He quietly gave generously of his time. Above and beyond.

Also for a birthday:

I am so glad that, thanks to Lang Dawid Walker’s ongoing friendship and staying in touch, I finally made good on my decades long intention of, “I must do one of Felix’s trips one day.”

I’ve done some unforgettable river trips; they’re forever part of my memories. This one moved to the very top of them all.

I drew a long straw for a paddling partner on my first Orange River trip. I got Monica, who has been down this river many times. Here’s the point on the first day when she realised the oke in the back of her boat was no evinrude:

Quite often I had to lie down and rest as I watched these energetic ancients bustling about. I declined an invitation to climb this mountain, choosing to think n drink  in camp instead.

All too soon we had to klim innie bus for the ride back to base camp and a delicious last meal:

– Felix’s “the wetter the better” Bus –

~~oo0oo~~

That other river trip is here:

Kayak the Canyon

*Hey, Thanks!* to many happy campers for these pics, most of which aren’t mine. I pinched them off the group blog.

Hold My Beer!

When Aitch and I were dating I got invited to a farewell party in Westville. Mike Coppinger and Jumbo Williams were leaving for Zambia to hop onto the Zambezi and kayak their way to the Indian Ocean and they needed a bunch of fellow kayakers to drink them on their way.

We met there after work and it was a festive opskop with a lot of hooligans in a well-stocked pub. After a few pints I took control of the situation and demonstrated who was in charge by casually suggesting to Aitch that we leave my car there and she drive me home at the end of this excellent jol as I could see it was going to be a big one. Then she could give me a lift back to my car in the morning.

Well . .

She looked me dead in the eye and ordered two beers. Proceeded to say Me Too whenever I had another, something she really was not actually equipped to do. Soon she was rather wobbly and as I had also had a few, we decided to call a taxi and leave both cars behind.

Gave me a hard time that one for the full twenty six years I knew her.

~~oo0oo~~

I was Born to be a Kayaker . .

. . just not a very good one. *

Actually ‘born to be’ . . ? Yep. Check it out here.

I love rivers and river valleys; water, especially water rushing downhill – the direction I wish to go; big water, we call it; hairy rapids; fun and scary and I enjoy the . . let’s call it excited, tense anticipation. Yeah, fear. My approach to scary rapids is logical / statistical: I know that big water is high perceived danger, but low real danger and that driving to the river is low perceived danger, but high real danger. So I’d reassure myself with that, have a pee, then fasten my splashy and push off into the current. Of course once you’re there on the riverbank, ‘scouting your line’ through the rapid, peer pressure does have a bit to do with it! You going? Yeah? So’m I.

I love little rapids too. As long as the water is flowing I’m happy. If I can do much of the trip with my arms folded and the current schlepping me downstream, I’m in paradise. Still water may run deep, but it’s hard work – no progress unless you’re paddling. And the wind is always agin ya!

Perspiration? Not so much. On many a trip my crazy paddle mates would paddle back upstream to where I was drifting in awesome wonder and ask, ‘What’s Wrong Swanie?’ Nothing was wrong, the day was long. My thought was, What’s the hurry?

In big water my mate ace paddler Chris Greeff would say ‘If you ain’t scared, you ain’t havin’ fun!’ a quote he got from Cully Erdman. ** Now Chris – he was a very good one. And also a FreeStater who was ‘born to be’ a kayaker. Like me, he grew up on the banks of a Vrystaat river – the lesser Vile (Vaal) as opposed to my mighty Vulgar (Wilge). I used to give him good advice but he’d ignore it and win races. He has no handbrake; He won just about every race you can win except the one South African laymen ask about. And he nearly won that one, despite short and reluctant legs. These things are hard to verify, but if there was a combination trophy for the highest beer consumption the night before, coupled on the tote with winning the race the next day, I reckon the only other paddler who would maybe come close was Jimmy Potgieter, a decade earlier.

He should write a book.

~~oo0oo~~

* I saw this lovely basketball quote –

‘I was born to be a point guard, but not a very good one’ by Pat Conroy

seen on Dr Mardy’s Quotes

** fear quotes:

Closest I can find are –

‘It ain’t brave if you ain’t scared’ by Victor J. Banis in Deadly Nightshade

‘If you ain’t scared you ain’t human’ by James Dashner in The Maze Runner.

~~oo0oo~~