Dad! I got 200 followers on instagram! Please can I buy some followers, Dad!? Ha! I now have 362 followers, more than Beast and Midnight! I’m second in our gang now, Dad. Only Lungu has more than me.

*sigh* How do you get followers, fella? You can buy them Dad. I mean besides that. Oh, I follow people and then when they follow me I just unfollow them. Oh so they’re real, true friends. Blank look.

Hmm. Oh, and also if you post awesome pictures, people follow you.

OK. Do you post pics of the pool and the kayak and Sambucca the gorgeous labrador and . .?

A look of immense sadness and deep pity clouds his face. Dad! How lame. We post pics of ourselves! Selfies!

How thrilling fella.

.

Maybe like this one?