Clothing the Homeless

A big black ‘garbage’ bag on my driveway. That’s strange, methought. I opened it up. Very nice clothes. Not new, but very good condition. Khaki safari shorts, Jeep branded shorts, lekker shirts, great T-shirts. Hmm.

Maybe they were taken off a clothesline and then, if the taker was feeling guilty and someone was approaching, he threw them over my gate so as to be empty-handed? I conjectured.
I was on whatasap back then so I broadcast to the neighbourhood group – Found some clothes. Anyone lost any clothes lately? No reply. I asked again. One guy asked, What kind of clothes? I gave a neutral ‘male adult shorts n shirts’ answer. I wasn’t going to say Perfect safari shorts! Great T-shirts! Nah! Anyway, they weren’t his. Hmm.

I told my friends of the mystery. Oh we forgot to tell you! Those are for you. You need to wear some different, and better clothes for a change. So Louis Galop gooi’d those over your gate when he was out on a run, galop’ing in the ‘hood, as he does.

Mystery solved. I was now a well-dressed soon-to-be-homeless gentleman. Really lekker clothes, my new favourites!

Turns out their preacherman from America thought the 2021 insurrection and looting was a good reason to return home, maybe a sign from on high, and had left in a hurry. In God We Trust, but hey, discretion . .

My good Samaritan friends tidied up for him, and I benefited from that strategic retreat! I got, like, a makeover.
Two years later, they’re still my best clothes.

~~oo0oo~~

I do miss my old fashionably ripped shorts, must say. I think they’da been worth a lot now. I know I pay extra for pre-ripped jeans for the kids.

Galop – gallop; jog; run

Trauma

So I’m heading into public view again after a long while ‘under the radar’. The Contact Lens Congress in Jo’burg. My shirts are looking tatty. Frayed around the collars so I need a makeover. I’ll get some new shirts. Long-sleeved. Blue-ish. And a new pair of work trousers. Dark.

Little did I know what trauma awaited me . . .

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Boy Legs

Aitch bought a range of new broekies for our growing eight year-old girl. Different shapes and colours. She’s loving this Mom and Daughter stuff and the girls are gonna test which work best.

The ones Jess liked the best were the “boy legs” shorts-type of panties so this morning Jessie donned a pink pair. ‘Those are the “boy legs” type, Jess, they’re lovely’, said the Mom.

Just then Tom walked in and Jessie hoisted up her T-shirt and paraded her new pink panties, showing up beautifully against her mahogany skin.

Look, Tom she cried, These are Boiled Eggs panties!

~~oo0oo~~