Jaynee J had a luxury courtesy suite at Centurion Park cricket ground and she invited us to watch a game. The Springboks / Proteas were playing someone in an international test match. 2001, so Sri Lanka, maybe.
Jayne didn’t call it a courtesy suite; she called it her ‘champagne suite’. Jayne Janetsky could POUR, and – as always – she had laid in enough stock for a siege. Or a rainy day. And that day Centurion Park was not like this:
It was like this:
This led to puddle-jumping with Jess behind the stadium:
I had great fun watching the people. Especially a guy in the next-door Telkom box, scanning the crowd with powerful binoculars, looking for girls. Whenever he saw someone watching him he’d say “I’m looking for my sister.”
We had to take two year-old Jessica along and it wasn’t really her thing. It rained off and on, so we were indoors with Celebrity Guest Barman Johnno Green, who was intent on quality control, sampling and plying. Boobs and Booze. Aitch and I took turns amusing Jess and keeping her (mostly) out of the adults’ hair.
After a while (cricket matches carry on and on and when you think they MUST be finished, surely? – they stop for tea) I had to feed and change Jess and decided to take her back to Jayne’s home. Change of scenery for her and a break for the adults.
On the way back to the stadium, with freshly-fed and -wiped Jessie strapped in the car seat behind me, I missed the freeway off-ramp to the stadium. Didn’t have a clue how I’d get back to the stadium now, so I was kinda tense and focused and fuming. What if I missed Jayne’s famous lunch? Finally I figured it out and managed a tricky u-turn after the next off-ramp and got back on track. Finally I could relax.
“Pete?” came a little voice from behind me.
Yes my love?
“FUCK!”
“FUCK FUCK FUCK!!”
Oh, boy . . . . .
Bewilderbeast Droppings 
hey I’m a pommie remember!! except when Murray plays Rafa …. then I kill a da bull!!
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It rained the whole b….. season except for one amazing international when England came to play. Now, imagine ONE box decked out in union jacks, a visiting English urologist (I thought he said neurologist, which led to odd conversation), a cricket boff in situ along with brave friends .. surrounded by local supporters. Only the barmie army on the grassy knoll for support! Glorious day and England won!!! Cherry on the top they came and saluted our box. Will always remember the pommie surgeon grabbing my arm – loaded with fizz and saying: “I’ve never been this close to my boys! If I die now I will go to the hereafter rejoicing!!!” Those were the days my friend!
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You always could throw a party!! “Loaded with fizz” – indeed!
But wait! There’s a contradiction here: You said “glorious day” and you said “England won” – ??
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