Sport

Horse Sickness

We were talking horseracing. About galloping knowledge and great expertise about the sport of kings, when along came someone who actually knows what he’s talking about (damn!). He also seems to have developed a disease since we last saw him: Horse Sickness: Probably ‘cos its lonely in the saddle in Port Elizabeth . . .

Dave ‘Scratchmo’ Simpson said: As you guys mention horse racing, meet my beloved Stormy Eclipse:

As you can see, Stormy is the most beautiful horse with a wonderful character and a great record – run 39 times with 9 wins.

Stormy’s sister is running at Turfontein on Saturday. So if you have (me: absolutely . . ) nothing to do, watch the 7th race on Channel 239. Her name is Storm Destiny. She has a chance. (And Hood was right! Could it be he knows what he’s talking about!?).

Stephen for you, I also have a filly – her name is Ample Glory and will begin racing this year. I am secretly confident that Ample will be the next Winx. Do you know when Winx will next race? – Her first race of the season was usually the Apollo Stakes at Randwick in mid Feb.

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Stephen ‘Spatchmo’ Reed replied: Howzit Dawid. Good to hear from you. My racing knowledge is scrappy but I see Winx is due to run on 13 April as you probably know in the Queen Elizabeth stakes. She is certainly big news here in Aussie. Racing seems like a big thing everywhere. I see radio and news channels run 24/7 with racing reports including the SA Turffontein and Greyville races. [free to air, not pay channels]

As for ample glory, I googled it and all I could find is:

i’m writing a story about the glory of my AMPLE thighs.

But I will keep an eye out

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Simpson: Hi Spatch, Well, it is really good to hear from you. My belated response comes from your mail going to junk.  I still see Hubby around and he still calls you Spatchmo and me Scratchmo.  

Hope all is going well in the mighty Oz. I guess my daughter Victoria will end up there, poor child, as she married an Aussie. Just joking – he is a hell of a nice guy – unlike those cheating cricketers and horse trainers. They have learned well from our insatiable politicians.

It is a little early to find the magnificent Ample Glory on the www as she will only make her first appearance in I guess about 3 to 5 months – but so far all is looking good. See attached pic of Ample with Frankie Dettori in the saddle:

If you don’t know Frankie – google him as he is a terrific character – getting most of the World’s best rides and has done some amazing things including winning the Arc de Triomf five times. When he wins, which is most of the time, he leaps out of the saddle in the winners circle, much to the delight of the crowds. Watch it on Youtube. I’ll convert you guys yet.

I got up early last Saturday to watch Winx win the Apollo Stakes at Randwick. She seems to not have lost any of her late speed from last year. Her next will probably be the Chipping Norton Stakes also at Randwick, this or next weekend, then George Ryder Stakes at Rosehill and the then the QE Stakes before retirement to make baby Winx’s. If you are living in Sydney, you and Wonderlikke Woman must go and watch her, you will not regret it. If you need a ticket, Winx’ jockey is a guy by the name of Hugh Bowman and he comes from the mighty metropolis of Mudgee. There is an optometrist there called Hogan who looks after the Bowman family eyes. So maybe he could swing you a ticket or two.

Keep in touch, Dawid Scratchmo Hood

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Me: Hoodlum – I stared very hard at that picture after your glowing description, but all I could see was a brown horse and a tanned Italian. Am I missing summing?

I have added the mighty Hogan of Mudgee onto this thread for cheep tickets . .

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Simpson: Yes Swannie, you noticed. Just testing your attention to detail. The dude on the back of my horse wishes he was Frankie.

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Glen ‘Hogan’ Barker wrote: Thanks for adding me to this thread, Pete.

Yes, Hood is quite correct as last Thursday 14th I had Hugh Bowman’s parents come in to get their eyes checked. Quite a coincidence as their daughter, Hugh’s sister, lives a couple of hundred yards down the street from us, and they stayed the night. Their farm (or property as they call it here) is an hour west and further away from the ‘Big Smoke,’ i.e. Sydney, before all three of them went down there on Friday to watch the Apollo Stakes on Saturday for Winx’s 30th consecutive win.

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Me: 30th consecutive win! That’s insane. Must be a record, surely?

Tell me Hood, it’s a brown horse, right? They seem to be faster, generally . . .

(thought I’d throw in a bit of insider knowledge and expertise there . . )

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

But Hood came up with two other words for ‘brown’, can you believe it, just to pour cold water on my theory: ‘Sorry Swannie, but there are three main colours of race horses: Grays, Bays and Chestnuts, so the bad news is that brown horses never win.’

Now, I knew horse racing was rigged, but I never guessed it was this bad . .

PS: I think Ample Thighs would be a good name for a race horse.