Early DUI Evidence

Driving Under the Influence. After knocking back a few – a few too many chocolate milks, maybe? – Jessie grabbed the keys to Aitch’s VW Polo and sallied forth determinedly . .

where’sh that Polo of Mom’s? I’ve got things to do, places to go!
– I’m outta here! –
– that’s better! – what’s this thing, anyway? –
– Yee Ha!! – get outta my way! –

~~~oo0oo~~~

A Cure for Texting n Driving

Do not text and drive. It’s called Distracted Driving and it’s dangerous.

Especially now.

My old man aged 95 and eight months in the shade took himself off to Wartburg and got his drivers licence renewed for a further five years. He will still be driving legally on a street near you at the age of 100 years and eight months.

Look sharp!

~~~oo0oo~~~

Old driver

Herb Zunckel drove his grey Morris Minor in Bergville till he was over ninety. People would see a seemingly driverless Morris approaching with only some knuckles gripping the steering wheel visible. He said he’d never had an accident. People would mutter ‘that’s cos we scatter out of your way!’ Sheila and Mandy called him Herbicide.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Old driver_2

Kevin Stanley-Clarke’s 1974 ouman driving advice to us younger guys newly-arrived in Joburg: Watch out for old toppies wearing hats!

~~~oo0oo~~~

ouman – he was older, wiser
toppies – older, wiser ous, maybe driving on memory

Traffic Directions / Life Advice

We’d had supper and imbibed a few with Rita and a gang of her – now also our – friends and were on our way to a club, recommended by the guys. A number of Rita’s friends are gay and call her their ‘Fag Hag.’ Wicked humour abounds, they know everything, we’d been to the ‘in’ restaurant of the moment – ‘ooh, you need to book well in advance, but I know the owner’ type of place – and were on our way to the ‘in’ club. Much hilarity in the rented car.

I was driving and Aitch was directing, her being a Cape Town local. At an intersection she said, “Go straight,” which elicited an immediate chorus of “NO!! Gaily forward! Gaily forward!” from the guys.

I nearly pranged the car I laughed so hard.

~~~oo0oo~~~