Reed-Swanepoel Criminology

On 2013/06/19, steve reed wrote:

Just had a criminal come into the practice and scoop up six Oakley sunglasses and run for it. Dropped one on the way out. Seventy year old Genevieve let him have her shrillest STOP THIEF! and did a ten metre dash after him. Yours truly emerged from the testing room and did . . NOTHING. Well, maybe I did a half-hearted five metres in the general direction well after the incident, but hadn’t a clue what to do.

A lady out in the car park did though. She saw him hot footing and took his number plate when he drove off. At least someone was ‘speronsible’ as Zunckel would put it. Problem is, the cops have got their hands quite full out that way, what with a couple of shootings, murders etc.  
What IS this place coming to?

pete swanepoel wrote: Hey! Some action. Jolly good! (Another Pat Bean-ism).

I think what you did was EXACTLY the right thing. Delay, go slow, emerge cautiously, look concerned, ask after the staff’s well-being, call the security ous.

What!? Physically apprehend the culprit!? Not a bliksem. You think he sterilises his knife? Uh uh.

Standing instructions to my people: You hand over EVERYTHING. You let them have the lot. Everything. Don’t look them in the face. Tell the insurance.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Steve again: Agree the thinking thing to do is let the poor old shoplifters take the stuff. What are you actually going to DO wif dem if you do perform a perfectly executed ankle tap in the shopping centre or car park? Lie on top of em?
BUT Genevieve! The Slovenian! She is different! She would have gone after him! We have good laughs however. She is teaching me about Slovenian cooking. In a previous life she was a commercial caterer. Brings me dubious bits of food to try and I have introduced her to Mrs Balls chutney with which she is most impressed. 

~~~oo0oo~~~

‘Speronsible’ reminds me of Zunckel on the crossbar of my bicycle on the way to the golf club (while the school wished he was playing tennis and me rugby), singing “Let the spidnight m-ecial , line a hell of a lot of shite on me”

~~~oo0oo~~~

Poephol

Everyone knows how to be cautious at an ATM. Do not allow yourself to be distracted. I’m wide awake, so when the guy ahead of me said “Eish, they’ve changed their system, but I managed to get my cash,” I smiled and moved on. When he offered to help me I shoo’d him off. He persisited and shoved next to me and pointed at the screen and babbled his tale. Pest. He looked like a bit of a smiling simpleton. I felt sorry for him, but I firmly told him I can do this, I don’t need your help. Buzz off please. He hovered nearby as I made to withdraw some cash to loan to Tommy’s mate Jose. They were waiting in the car. The white Ford Ranger 4X2 diesel. Next minute my card was stuck in the machine and he was gone. I got no cash.

One minute later as I was phoning the bank about the stuck card, my phone beeped: R3000 withdrawal – my max amount.

How the HELL did he do that!? He was gone.

So I was wrong: He was no simpleton. But then again, maybe I was actually right: There WAS one simpleton in that ATM booth this Sunday.

——oo0oo——

poephol