Sport

More Horse Chestnuts

For those keen to learn yet more about the exciting, honest-joe world of racing brown horses from one end of a field to the other end of the same field, all the while whipping they asses, David Gee Gee Simpson resurrected the exciting horse-racing saga:

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Hi All – It was Winx by three lengths in the George Ryder Stakes at Rosehill, her home track, for the final time this morning early – or late afternoon for Hogan and Spatch. Just a flick of the reins at the 300 meter mark by Hogan’s Mudgee mate Hugh and it was game over.

Win number 32 on the trot. The awesome tale continues.

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Me: 32 wins! Liewe bliksem! That’s ridiculous – or rickadulious as Louis Slabbert would say.

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Scratchmo hoped: Swannie, I think I have a convert. Yes you are correct, it is astonishing. Winx has the most wins in the history of racing World-wide. The most consecutive wins in World history.

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Me: Aw, I thought I had a convert! I thought you’d see my point, that if you herded a whole bunch of horses to the top end of a field and chased them down to the bottom end of the field you may just as well have taken them straight down to the bottom end and saved time.

But if you insist I’m converted, where can I buy myself a Winx or two? Also, who’ll feed the thing?

And what will I do about the SOB’s who’ll want to trip my brown Winx horse if it was leading the field? And what can I sell a foal for once I breed one?

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Dave Ample Thighs Simpson wrote: Forget about someone trying to trip your horse, you must first find an honest midget!

Feeding is easy. A sack of old mielie cops a day from Tabs’ farm should do the trick.

I don’t know what the foal will go for, but maybe Godolphin will pay US$$$5 million. Godolphin is the stable of Sheik Mohammed, the ruler of Dubai, so I think he has the loot. If not him, maybe our great South African Sheik, Sheik Markus will buy it.

One always has to remember the risks of racing, if Winx breaks a leg, she’s dead.

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Me: Now you’ve made me nervous. I am not going to buy two Winx’s anymore. Not even if Tabbo gives me free mielies.

Speaking of Sheik Markus. I sincerely hope he goes to chookie for a while. I think that would be nice.

Also: Why do they ship horses all over for live-action pomping instead of using AI – Artificial Insemination? Put it in an envelope, mail it, insert it by hand?

.

And you still haven’t admitted to the fact that the brown horse usually wins . .

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Scratchmo, Equestrian Gajima Wizard, replied: AI is banned for registered race horses. Bloodlines are very important in the horse racing industry, so must be tracked to perfection, which I should imagine DNA can now do anyway, but I guess it also prevents any particular stallion’s bloodline from becoming too dominant globally, as he must actually pomp to make new race horses. For top stallions you must pay big loot for a pomp.

Also, each race horse has a passport and an inserted ID microchip, which is checked before each and every race.

And then the killer blow: Sorry Swannie, but there are three main colours of race horses, Grays, Bays and Chestnuts. So the bad news is that brown horses never win.

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Me: Damn! I’ve been wasting my money all these years! Must be thirty, forty Rand wasted! Blown!

Amazing the Pomping Passport story! If humans had those there might be a bit more decorum! And a microchip in each guy’s willy.

I spose the Stallions Union agitated for no AI! They’d want to keep flying round the world, meeting mare chicks. Give them a jab and then fly off to pastures new, no parental care asked for, nor offered. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.

I imagine it’s quite a fraught scene when he has to do the deed. Injuries could happen!? So I’m guessing they don’t leave them alone in a nice quiet corner to first fall in love and whisper sweet nothings? Develop true feelings? Probly a highly supervised pomp, like a porno movie, complete with cameras and KY jelly?

– yep – thought so – no privacy –

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Comedian Mark Simmons asked – and I think he has a point: ‘To be or not to be a horse fancier, that is equestrian’

Africa, Birds & Birding, Food, Travel, Travel Africa, Wildlife, Game Reserves

Limpopo Lepadi

I joined Jenny & Tabs Fyvie for a lovely week in the bush at their luxury lodge in Botswana. Right on the banks of the Limpopo river – a wonderful setting. Their friends from their days in the lowveld Johan and Elsa were there, and other shareholders from the Eston district, Pete & Bruce.

Wonderful wildlife, including two leopards; Great birding including a lifer: a white-backed night heron hiding out in daytime. The bird pics are all off the internet.

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Weather changeable, hot and dry or warm and wet. Cool nights. October 2013.

We had a wonderful time, with only one minor catastrophe: The bread was not completely square; it was slightly buckled and squashed from being thrown in the back of my bakkie. Tabbo survived that thanks to Jenny’s laughter.

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I sent these images – pinched off the ‘net – to interested friends after I got back. Some of the birds that fluttered down to drink at iMbuzi waterhole in Limpopo-Lipadi reserve in the two hours we sat there. What a feast for the eyes!

Plus, some of the nyonis seen in camp:

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Drove back from Botswana in just under 12 hours. Long time since I did that. Pressure from the kids to get home, so I resolved to keep moving, but overnight with Pierre in Harrismith, or with my folks in Pietermaritzburg if I got sleepy. But I didn’t. I just kept trucking, stopping regularly for a walk and a bite and coffee.

Got a huge welcome when I got in! “Daddy we MISSED you!” No cellphone comms in the bush!

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I wrote to Dave Hill: I haven't told you yet that we had a 
long discussion about you (rolling cars, Hartebeespoort dam, etc)
He replied: Hi spekkies. I knew it would be dangerous letting you 
loose with those rubbishes. I bet they were full of heinous lies 
about me. You of course were mum.
.
Me again: No! I had nothing but praise. Which they laughed at.
Trevor, Pete, Butch and Bruce. Pete and Butch dishing the dirt on you 
about rolling cars and choking Linda Lovelace. Funny how some things stick in your throat memory.
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photographersdirect.com (this site has since disappeared)
shutterstock.com (royalty-free thumbnail pics)