The Amazing Transit of Venus

Venus silhouetted against the Sun, seen from our dear planet Earth from different viewpoints in 2012.

Three times exposures on the right, showing the path of Venus tracking across the face of our Sun.
A transit of Venus is one of the rarest and most historically significant planetary alignments. Since the invention of the telescope in 1608, there have been only seven. It did not occur at all during the twentieth century, and when it occurred in 2004 and 2012, not one soul was living who observed the last one in 1882.

It was by studying the 1769 transit that atronomers calculated the distance from Earth to the Sun. For this event, Captain Cook famously sailed the Endeavour to uncharted Tahiti. Mission: Observe the transit.

Anyone interested in the ceaseless, wondrous movements of the planets in our solar system needs to read about Venus crossing the face of the sun, as observed from Earth (excerpts from books by Nick Lomb & David Sellers).
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In the 18th century, scientists realised that by timing the event from different locations, the transits of 1761 and 1769 could be triangulated and give the distance between Earth and the Sun – “the noblest problem in astronomy,” for it would at last place mankind in the cosmos.
Britain and France, the two superpowers at the time, jockeyed for the glory, dispatching missions to far-flung places.
Among them were British surveyors Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon, who were attacked by French warships in 1761 just after they left Plymouth and headed back to port. Discouraged, they wanted to cancel the trip. After receiving a now-legendary letter from the Royal Society, the British scientific academy which was sponsoring them, they ventured straight back out to sea, suitably chastened. To give up would “bring an indelible Scandal upon their Character, and probably end in their Utter Ruin,” the letter said stonily. Or, Get your asses the hell out there, girlfriends, in 21st century jargon.

Drama was also in store for the 1769 transit, when Britain sent James Cook to Tahiti to view the event from there.
After his mission, Cook opened the instructions for the secret – and most important – part of his expedition: to search for and map for the Crown a mysterious “southern continent,” which turned out to be New Zealand and eastern Australia.
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Hundreds of scientists set sail to locations throughout the world, hoping to catch a glimpse of the transit and be the first to bask in the glory of priority. Most of the expeditions would end in failure. Some were of such comically devastating proportions they sound like something dreamed up in an ancient Greek tragedy. Bill Bryson recounts one such misfortune in A Short History of Nearly Everything:
Le Gentil set off from France in 1760, a year ahead of time, to observe the transit from India, but various setbacks left him still at sea on the day of the transit―just about the worst place to be, since steady measurements were impossible on a pitching ship.
Undaunted, Le Gentil continued on to India to await the next transit in 1769. With eight years to prepare, he erected a first-rate viewing station, tested and retested his instruments and had everything in a state of perfect readiness. On the morning of the second transit, 4 June 1769, he awoke to a fine day; but, just as Venus began its pass, a cloud slid in front of the Sun and remained there for almost exactly the duration of the transit of three hours, fourteen minutes and seven seconds.
Stoically, Le Gentil packed up his instruments and set off for the nearest port, but en route he contracted dysentery and was laid up for nearly a year. Still weakened, he finally made it onto a ship. It was nearly wrecked in a hurricane off the African coast. When at last he reached home, eleven and a half years after setting off, and having achieved nothing, he discovered that his relatives had had him declared dead in his absence and had enthusiastically plundered his estate. (Thanks, Nick Risinger’s blog)
~~oo0oo~~
How did they do it?
The mathematician James Gregory recognised that the distance from Earth to the sun could be calculated by observing a transit of Venus from two points on Earth that are far away from one another. Edmond Halley and Joseph-Nicolas Delisle came up with different ways of doing this. In 1761 and 1769 (Venus transits come in pairs around 8 years apart with a gap of around 105 years between pairs), scientists made epic journeys to take part in this measurement.
Here’s an outline of how Delisle’s method worked. Two people with accurately synched time pieces (another challenge in the 18th and 19th century) would observe the exact time that the transit began from two places on Earth. They would not see the transit start at the same time because of a phenomenon called parallax.
At some point, the red observer will see the Venus transit begin and will mark the time.

At a later point (because the Earth is spinning, and Earth and Venus are orbiting around the sun), the blue observer will see the transit begin.

Using Kepler’s Third Law and some high school geometry, you can determine the distance Venus has orbited in this short amount of time, and then the absolute distance from Venus to the sun (Thanks Avery Pickford’s blog).

~~oo0oo~~

PS: Do find and read Bill Bryson’s entertaining account of the transit of Venus!

Cellphone Roamin’

I send a serious sms:

Hi all

I will be able to send and receive sms’ while in Lesotho.

I’ll be there from Thursday about 1pm to Monday about 12 noon.

Thanks Pete

———————————————————————-
and I get this:On 2012/05/28 Jon Taylor wrote:

where-ever you may roam

thru mist or snow or foam

remember that you’ll always be pissed

what you ask for the way to go hoam

. . or something like that – some fossilized song that’s hard-wired in my calcified brain.

——-ooo000ooo——-

lesotho

Solemnish Ceremony

I gathered the kids and said “Let’s go and bury Mom’s ashes with Bella. We’ve been meaning to do it for ages, let’s do it now.”

Her ashes had been keeping an eye on us from the mantelpiece. Now it was time for ceremony.

We trooped down under the trees to the spot where Tobias and I had buried Bella and where we had prepared a hole for the little box containing Aitch’s remains.

I gathered my thoughts and cleared my throat and . . .

“ANTS!” the kids shouted, slapping their legs and running away back to the house.

Ah well, I had a little private ceremony, shaking with laughter. Aitch would have enjoyed that (though she’d have had something to say about decorum).

Is Africa for Sissies After All?

I wrote to some of you when I went to the Master of the High Court of KwaZulu Natal to start a frustrating six month process of queuing and waiting to be appointed as executor of Aitch’s estate. I’d been told: Six Months!

The long and the short of that story was I got forgotten outside someone’s door and when the first lady who had helped me saw me (and probably my sad face) she said “Are you still waiting there?” and took me under her wing.
Three hours later I left with the letter of appointment in my hand! Not “We’ll post it”, nor “We’ll phone you” nor “You phone us”. Done and dusted! In my hand!

Yesterday I finally admitted defeat after searching for Jess & Tom’s adoption papers (the ones that say “asof uit u gebore” – ‘as if born of you’) high and low in our upside-down house. I had turned over everything at home, in the garage, at work, at Trish’s Mom’s place, everywhere five times, so I turned with resignation and trepidation to plan B: Apply for replacement forms from the Department of Justice.

I phoned Ms Miya (who I seem to think we dealt with – her name was on a 2004 letter – the only thing I could find) and she said “I’ve moved from that section, but I’ll help you my lovie”!
And she did: She phoned me back in a few hours and said “When can you come and fetch them?”
How’s that!?

I went first thing this morning to the Pinetown children’s court. Walked in at 7.45am and walked out at 7.48am with the forms in my hand!
Whattapleasure.

Very worrying, though. Are we going soft?

Mom, Moz and Morphine

On 24 June 2011, Pete <pete@sheila.co.za> wrote:

Hi Jayne

Wanting to get to Mozambique for snorkeling soonest. Trish not well at all and wants to go snorkeling and I’m trying to arrange. Phone +2**2394*002 if you can.

Hope and trust all well with you? And your gang?

Our kids well – just rattled.

Thanks

Love Pete

———- Forwarded Message ———

Re: Delayed response Re: Where you?

Hi! I am helping out at a Lodge in the Vilanculos area over the Xmas period – so may not reply promptly to your e-mail!

All is well however!

J —

Jayne Janetzky

———————————–

So I make a phone call

———————————–

On 25 June 2011 09:31, Pete <pete@sheila.co.za> wrote:

Hey Jaynee J !!

So good to chat to you again. That CAN DO approach! Love it. WhattaPom!

We’ll fly at a moment’s notice and I’ll do EFT as soon as you tell me.

The one fly in the oinkment will be PAIN. Let’s hope! Morphine is said to be amazing, so here’s hoping.

(Aitch says, “Morphine has always meant dying to me, Koos!” Well, it has to all of us, hasn’t it? )

Speak soon P

———————————————————————–

Subject: Re: Delayed response Re: Where you?!

Date: Mon, 27 Jun 2011 10:46:10 +0200

Hi my darlings

Well of course its a CAN DO. For you guys we kill bulls and marauding elephants!!!

Have a self-cater chalet lined up (nice) ….price being negotiated …..

LAM cheapest airline especially if you book on line.

Morphine – whatever gets you through the night Trish – is alright, is alright!!!!!

Waiting for you guys – bring jerseys!!! XXXXX

~~~oo0oo~~~

Well, it didn’t happen.

Aitch ended up in hospital for a night, which ended up being four nights – ‘Just to rest.’ Actually, I thought the herceptin had affected her heart, but my good friend cardiologist Dave said no – but he looked very worried – the look on his honest face made me realise we were near the end – and sent her to our other friend Mike the pulmonologist, who checked her in. She was quite chirpy when we visited, but tired and in pain.

Then she came home on the 1st July – THANK GOODNESS – and spent her last four nights in her own bed, fussed over by us. No more pain thanks to morphine prescribed as she checked out of hospital.

She died early morning 5 July 2011. Last words; ‘Thank you. Love you Koosie!’

~~~oo0oo~~~

R.I.P Barry Porter

BARRY PORTER 18th September 1946 to 27th April 2011

Barry as we’ll all remember him, soaking up the wonders of the big outdoors:

Barry Porter_3.JPG
Photo: Andy Ruffle

A memorial service was held for Barry at the Port Shepstone Country Club.

Dress attire casual – as Barry would’ve liked.

A request for no flowers has come from his family. His son feels it fitting that donations be made to Birdlife Trogons Bird Club in lieu of flowers.

A TRIBUTE TO BARRY PORTER FROM BIRDLIFE TROGONS BIRD CLUB

Friend Colleague Confidant Gentleman

Born in Johannesburg into a family steeped in South Coast history.

Educated at St Andrew’s College, Grahamstown and immensely proud of it.

Reserved, scientific and tempered with technical ability.

Environmentally possessed.

Concluded his education at Natal University PMB with a BSc Agri Degree and commenced a farming career at Hella Hella.

His knowledge of environmental issues was unsurpassed and covered everything from birds to frogs to trees to grasses to game – from common names to scientific names to even Zulu names in which language he was fluent.

The use of this language in regard to Zulu tree names often led to very interesting and vigorous debates between ourselves and our Zulu speaking compatriots. To disagree with him was a complete waste of time, he would just quietly walk away, leaving one to wonder why did we even try and realising that we had not obtained an ‘A’ in that subject.

His knowledge of birds was unsurpassed and he studied avian issues with an undisclosed passion. He was a dedicated member of the Bird Rarity Committee and was always ready to give a fair judgement on all requests. As Chairman of Trogons Bird Club for a numbers of years (under duress) he never appreciated his ability being noticed and he led the club to be one of the most active and productive in Natal (if not the country) and he had the ability to motivate his committee to perform above expectations to the benefit of its members. He served on many Avian orientated committees where his knowledge was highly regarded.

Apart from his scientific knowledge, his technical ability was quite fascinating and he was adept at repairing and studying all aspects of modern engineering.

He was very computer literate and enjoyed all the advantages of its intricacies to the extreme .

The loss of his wife, Lyn, some six months ago left him tragically scarred – a scar that he bore bravely and undisclosed and no doubt had a bearing on his tragic demise.

His passing will leave a void that will be difficult to fill as there are very few people with his reserved manner and willingness to impart their knowledge to others available in this world today.

May he rest in peace.

Your civility and reservedness which endeared you to so many will not be forgotten.

~~~oo0oo~~~

TRIBUTE POSTED ON SABAP2 WEBSITE

I have sad news to report. One of the stalwarts of SABAP2, Barry Porter, passed away on Wednesday after a short spell in hospital. Barry’s contribution to the BirdLife Trogons Bird Club was legendary.
An email sent to me by one of his friends, Carol Bosman, includes this paragraph which helps to sum up all our feelings: “Barry lived for birds and whenever I stayed with him he would take me out to record the various pentads for the Bird Atlas Project. His wife Lyn passed away only five months ago. What saddens me the most, I guess, is the loss of a ‘fountain’ of information as Barry was so well read in so many subjects. Your project has lost an incredibly knowledgeable observer and participant.”
Barry submitted a total of 261 checklists for 77 pentads, mostly in southern KwaZulu-Natal, but extending further afield as well. His first checklist was made on 19 August 2007, right at the outset of SABAP2, and the most recent was on 27 March this year, a month ago. Over this whole period there were very few months in which Barry did not submit a checklist.


He was a regular contributor of interesting comments on fora such as SABirdnet.
On 14 June last year during the World Cup he wrote this email, with the subject line “Soccer Birds”: “I went birding yesterday in the normally tranquil rural tribal lands inland from Hibberdene. I struggled to fill my atlas card, very difficult to hear birds voices – ‘the hills are alive with the sound of vuvuzelas!'”

The birding community and SABAP2 are poorer with the passing away of this passionate citizen scientist.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Here’s a pic by Barry of the Trogons at his brother’s litchi farm. Lyn is in the picture, second from left:

Barry Porter & Lyn - Litchi Syndicate.jpg

The vulture hide at Oribi Gorge – in the feature pic – was named in Barry’s honour. He would secretly have loved that.

I wrote a tribute to Barry here.

~~~oo0oo~~~

Hair Today

Years ago I wrote about my hairdresser then. She had more to do than my hairdresser now.

I went and saw her one day and realised I’d chosen the wrong time. Fergie was getting married to the porky ‘prince’ and all the ladies were glued to the telly, ooh-ing and aah-ing.

Bloody ‘Royal Family’ mania!

I can come back later, I offered.

No, its fine, she fibbed and set to trimming my locks, out of view of the Pomp-ing Ceremony.

Have you seen!? she asked in her pronounced Affies or Dirkie Uys accent.

No, not really interested, said anti-monarchist me.

Ag, Saah-ra looked so beautiful as she stepped out of the cart, she gushed.

~~~oo0oo~~~

– home hairdresser with Tiger –

Now my CURRENT hairdresser is something else. Saw her yesterday. Much less to do, but hey!

Presses her boobs against me; Stands with her thighs on either side of mine; Pats me tenderly; Fusses over me; Quite a performance. And charges me nothing! FREE haircuts for me.

Course, I’m married to her . . .

~~~oo0oo~~~

Panjo Still Roaming Free – and I know why!

28 July 2010 – Groblersdal

A 17-month-old Bengal tiger has caught the attention of the whole country after somehow escaping from his owners’ Ford F250 bakkie on Monday night. He is now roaming about somewhere between Groblersdal and Delmas – which is very far from Bengal.

His owners Goosey (51) and Rosa (45), hope he will arrive at their smallholding at Endicott near Springs on Wednesday, though how he will do that without GPS they don’t say. Oh, and they don’t have a permit for the tiger.

According to Rosa, anyone who spots him should point a stick at him and say “NO!” That’s Tiger 101, everyone knows that. He’ll probly still eat you, but with some regret as you would have reminded him of Rosa. She also suggested you give him some chicken to eat. He’ll probly still eat you, but with some regret as he will have had a meat starter.

Sersant Wilson of Grobbies also chimed in with more dodgy advice: If the permit-less tiger is spotted, people are asked to phone the local police station immediately.”

Well! No wonder they can’t find it!! Everyone knows a tiger is STRIPED, fgdsake!

I can just see Sersant Wilson’s konstabels tip-toeing thru the bush, seeing Panjo and saying voetsek wena! as they continue their search for a spotted creature!

~~~o0o~~~

For a little while the whole of South Africa knew where Groblersdal was. Sort-of: That place you must avoid; there’s a tiger on the loose! One old fellow, when warned there was a tiger around said, ‘Yes, he knows, that’s why he’s carrying a stick. It’s not cos he can’t walk without a stick!’ One lovely lady, asked what she would do if the tiger came to her house, said she’d buy chicken from her neighbour who sells chickens, then quickly dress up in her best so she’d look good when the TV cameras arrived.

Panjo was finally found on the farm Swartkoppies in Verena. The tiger’s spoor had first been picked up by ace tracker Johnson Mhlanga from Singita in Mpumalanga, then by ace tracking dog Zingela, a Weimeraner whose forebears came from Germany aus. He and his owner Conrad (forebears also aus Germany?) work in Sabi Sands Game Reserve, where they track wounded game.

– Zingela – hopefully he was also given some chicken –

So Panjo didn’t find his way home to Endicott near Springs; he had to be fetched and driven there. I hope he thanked Zingela and gave him half his KFC. Or some bratwurst at least.

~~~oo0oo~~~

voetsek wena – be off with you; shout it confidently, but he’ll probly still eat you

Brevity

TomTom has to keep a holiday diary for school. Daily entries. Verbally he can be quite verbose. When a story can be told in ten words, he can take twenty, then repeat them in case you weren’t listening.

So we went shopping and walked for miles in Westwood centre, then drove to the Pavilion, looking for soccer collectable cards and an album. Plus we had Kentucky Fried chicken and a Tab, bought plasters for him and disprins for me. And he listened to music on his headphones in the kombi.

In his diary he wrote: I have soka cards frommy Dad. That was it.

Earlier, we had arranged to go to the Palmiet River* at the bottom of our road.  Aitch was out, so I told TomTom we should leave a note for Mom to tell her where we’d gone.

He wrote a big note. It said – in glossy silver pen: We have gone.

I insisted he say more, so he added some detail:

And we well come back – TomTom

~~oo0oo~~

*Our Palmiet fossicking turned up tadpoles, mayfly nymphs, baby frogs, freshwater shrimps and little fish fry. Maybe he’ll write about them.

Appropriate Indeed

So I’m dropping off Ebony and Ivory, the terrible twins, Ivory Josh and Ebony Tom, at Paula Dean’s Holiday Club, in West Virginia. Or so it sounds when the kids say it. It’s actually Westville Junior.

Josh and Tom

Also Jessie and Londeka, who is visiting her grandma Gogo Regina, our housekeeper,  from Mbumbane.

On the way up the steps I remember, and mumble, that I must fill in an indemnity form for Josh.

No, Dad, we already filled in our Indignity Form, says TomTom.

Appropriate.

~~oo0oo~~

Now I’m Incommunicado . .

As I hit ‘pay’ on my laptop internet banking and waited for the beep on my cellphone it struck me. I could picture it in my mind’s eye: The little white enamel loo roll holder in the stall in the mens toilets, Montclair Mall.

I rushed back just in case, but forget it. No sign of my little red Nokia N73.
Damn! When I got back to the rooms, Feroza and Raksha – much more clear-headed than me – had already phoned it as soon as they saw me muttering and cursing. It got switched off in mid-ring.

Moertoe.

It’s 17h15, so the cell shop is closed. I go home and phone Vodacom. Sorry, our systems are down. Phone back in an hour. Or so.
When I finally get them with their disting up, it’s: Sorry, I MUST PHONE MY SERVICE PROVIDER. (Vodacom! You don’t train your poor call centre people! Shine up!)

I phone the Autopage after-hours number. They say they’ll block the number for me (well, in the next 24hrs they will, that is), but they can’t block the phone. I MUST GO INTO THE STORE (my pet hate words) and give them the IMEI number to do that.

Next day the Autopage store say they will only block the IMEI number after I report it to the cops but even then it will take 24 – 48 hrs. Or longer, today being Friday. There are profits to be made from phones stolen, but not from phones blocked, I guess!?

They say my insurance will need the SAPS case number, but the cops will need the ITC number first. When? When it gets blocked. Maybe Monday. I’m not happy, so they give me their P number (provider number) and I’m off to the cops right now. What do I need for the cops? Only the ITC number. Sure? Yes.

At the copshop Inspector Luthuli is helluva apologetic, but firm: Yes, he does need the ITC number, true. But he also needs the IMEI number. The computer won’t give a case number unless it is fed with both numbers.

Back to the Autopage store (grrr!), and then back to the copshop. As I get in, Inspector Luthuli is on his way out. He has grabbed a copy of Drum magazine and he’s heading off (to the loo? home? I dunno, but I call out:) Please Insp Luthuli, can you help me? He does. Batho Pele.

~~oo0oo~~

Actually, this is quite lekker. So now I’m incommunicado, as Jimmy Buffet would say. I reach for my pocket quite often: ‘I’ll just phone Aitch. I’ll just sms the Brauers. I’ll just make a note of that.’

No, you won’t.
Write it down. Use a pencil.
I make a note to use a tickey box. That will tickle people.

I’ve lost my contacts list, my notes, my sms’s, my calendar reminders, the lot. Lekker. Peaceful.
~~oo0oo~~
Now on the day that John Wayne died
I found myself on the continental divide
Tell me where do we go from here?
Think I’ll ride into Leadville and have a few beers
Think of “Red River”, “Liberty Valence” can’t believe
the old man’s gone

But now he’s incommunicado
Leaving such a hole in a world that believed
That a life with such bravado
Was taking the right way home

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

moertoe – gone to hell; down the toilet

disting – dingis; whatchamacallit

lekker – naas; nice

batho pele – batho pele means putting other people first before considering your own needs, or yourself; ‘people first’

Who Helped Who?

Mom n Tom choose a cake for his party: A great big rocket with a number SEVEN emblazoned in smarties on its side, a star-shaped base and gleaming red aluminium foil fins. They choose the mixing bowl, run the Kenwood, prepare the star-shaped pan and – at last – pop the first part into the pre-heated oven.

It’s a hot, muggy day and Aitch plops down into a chair in the breakfast nook and smiles at Tom.

Mom! he says, I couldn’t have done that without you!

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

It gets worse. Later on he thinks of something and goes up to Aitch.

Mom, what treat can I get for helping you? he asks.

Hmmm, says Aitch, always sharper than me in dealing with the kids’ manipulations, Who’s cake is this?

Mine.

So what do I get for helping YOU?

A hearty handshake, says the incorrigible one, without missing a beat, and goes running off chuckling.

~~~~oo0oo~~~~

Did You Got a Licence?

It’s time to renew my driver’s licence. This is where my procrastination kicks in. Usually I’m “Never put off till tomorrow what you can put off till the next day”, but eventually I gotta go. I’m LATE!
So I test my own eyes, fill in my own driver’s vision form and get to Rossburgh Vehicle Licence Testing Grounds at 1.30pm, stopping on the way for a newspaper, a packet of crisps, a packet of NikNaks, a coke and a Tex chocolate bar. My health food lunch. Mental health.
Straight away it’s the usual civil service scenario: I enter the room and wonder where to go. No signs to enlighten me. I join a queue and ask: What’s this queue for? Oh. Which one? That one? Thanks. I join another queue. And wait.
When I’m two away from the fingerprint man a big fat pale bloke in blue overalls pushes ahead. He belligerently chunes the darker ou doing fingerprints: “This is the third time I’m coming back. You must do your job properly, man! The machine has rejected my fingerprints AGAIN! The lady at the far counter next door says I must tell you to do your job properly!”
“Which lady?!” says Mr Fingerprints, pushing back his chair and standing up, ready to fight with the lady who has impugned him. Off they storm next door. And no, he didn’t say “Please excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I have a small matter to attend to”.
They roar back ten minutes later, still chirping each other. “You wouldn’t last ten minutes in a private job, my man – you’d be FIRED!” “Don’t you be cheeky to me!” “I’m not cheeky, YOU’RE cheeky!” Etc etc. Neither is fuming fisticuffs mad, but neither is going to back down either.

Eventually I get my thumbs blackened and I ask: “Where next?” “Take the forms to that table in the corner”, he points. I go. I stand. I’m ignored. After a while, the Form Man finishes with the person ahead of me. He looks at me with a hint of disdain. “What you doing here?” he asks. I say “The fingerprint gentlemen told me to come here”. “There’s a queue, stand in the queue” says Mr Dale Carnegie. “Oh, OK” – I’m Mr Meek. The queue goes back to right next to Mr Fingerprint’s table. So he could have said “Join this queue,” but he didn’t.
This is a long queue, so I get to read my newspaper. We’re on benches and the drill is: You sit. Then you stand up, move on three or four places, then sit again. The silent shuffle. I share the sections of my newspaper around, so some people think I’m a good oke, because there are three types of people in queues: Chatterers, Silents and Boreds. The Boreds want the paper. Three Chatterers grab me and tell me how this is “jis a munnymaking rakkit.” Although you’re always next to the same people, you get to sit just in front or just behind a constantly-changing variety of peeps as you shuffle left to the end of one bench, then right along the next bench, inching towards the holy grail. I find out that a white lady has to fetch her daughter and an elderly injun oke thinks the whole civil service has gone to pot “since the changeover.“Hey?” he repeats, trying to get me to agree with him. When he doesn’t get any joy, he turns to someone else, undaunted. “Hey? It’s since 1994 it’s like this!” he chunes.
Now you must go next door to pay. Aha, I think, taking our money: That’ll be the fast queue. Forget it! It’s ten times longer, in a huge hall with 14 counters. Four are roped off for PDP licences (professional permits, for heavy duty or carrying passengers). Of the other ten, five are manned. It’s 2:40pm and the signs says We close at 3pm. We debate whether they’ll keep us all there and then gleefully slam the windows shut at 3pm, or if they’ll stay until we’re all done. We risk the latter.
The signs in the pay hall are fascinating: The official ones are all Batho Pele, People First, Our Pledge to the Valued Customer stuff. The handwritten ones are NO CHEQUES! and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL WE . . . etc. The signs show the difference between a luxury bosberaad indaba where lofty mission statements are made under airconditioning between lengthy buffets, and actually serving the great unwashed ‘on the ground,’ I suppose!
When someone leaves the counter up front there’s often a long (some seconds) break before the next person wakes up and realises it, so the delay is exacerbated. One young sparky fella decides ‘Nooit!‘ and stands up from mid-queue and takes on a marshalling role. “NEXT NEXT NEXT” he shouts the second someone leaves a hatch beckoning the next person in line. He gets things moving much faster and gets encouragement, laughter and applause from the assembled masses. When eventually his place in the queue arrives and it’s his turn to be served, he gets a big cheer, and when finished he turns around with a huge grin and wishes us a good night here! He gets a cheerful send-off, and then things lapse back to the pathetic, glum pace before he took charge! It takes a while before someone else steps into his role, but not nearly as effectively.
Finally, it’s my turn after nearly four hours, most on a hard wooden bench. It’s after 5pm and bless ’em, they’re still there – down to only two open hatches by now, mind you. The very polite lady takes my money, checks the date and says: “Your licence has already expired, would you like to buy a temporary licence?” Naah, I say, I’ll just wait for my new one. “Fine,” she says, “But I should tell you you might not be covered by your insurance if something should happen.” Um, how much? “R156”. I’ll take it. Thanks for telling me, I appreciate your concern.
End of an interesting day at the licencing office! Don’t forget to take your newspaper and munchies when it’s your turn!
Postscript:
It’s one month later and I’m driving in Cato Manor when WHUMP! I get hit right up the exhaustpipe by a goofed oke in a home-made sawn-off “convertible”. He stumbles out and grins at me. He has no driver’s licence, the car is not licenced, he has no insurance and no job. He takes full responsibility and chunes me I must let him take my car to his mates who can straighten it out. I think if that was true they’d have straightened you out, china. A nearby carguard sidles over from a used car lot and says he saw it all if I need a witness, asks for my cell number. Later he phones asking for a job.
The repair runs to R27 000 and the very first thing my insurance asked for was my licence!
That beautiful very polite lady at Rossburgh saved me a whole lotta drama and pain with her temporary licence! Thank you again, ma’am! Above and beyond!
~~oo0oo~~
chunes – tells; says; informs; from ‘tunes’; also choons;
jis a munnymaking rakkit – just a money-making racket; a whinge;
injun oke – forefathers were from India or Pakistan;
Batho Pele – Wouldn’t dream of chooning you grief; or People First;
bosberaad or indaba – frequent retreats where brainstorming is done at great expense in luxury surroundings; plans are made, lo-ong mission statements are crafted and then ignored; mission statements almost always include the words ‘forward’ and ‘together’; the success of the indabas is rated only on the standard of the catering;
nooit – never; no way; can’t be;

Cape Vidal Storm Disaster

We took the trailer and found a lovely campsite and settled in.

Bushman Camping - Annotated trailer

Tom was a mad keen fisherman and Jess loved the waves. Blissful. Peaceful. Tom had his first real fishing rod – a huge surf rod given to him by Trish’s Dad Gompa Neil. Jess was mad keen on gymnastics and swimming back then. Game drives were not as exciting – let’s go back to the beach! – but when I let them drive the kombi they were thrilled with game drives again. Such an easy-to-please stage of their lives!

– Cape Vidal Jess 2005 –
– Cape Vidal Tom 2005 – Granpa Neil’s rod on the right –
– Cape Vidal 2005 –

While the gillie unties knots and baits up, the fisherman dreams of big catches: C’mon gillie, move it up already!

– gillie prepares the tackle. Ace fisherman looks on, impatient to haul a whale thru the breakers and onto the beach! –

When we got back to camp from the beach fings had changed: The Boksburg and Benoni Fishing and Hengel Club had moved in with their V8 4X4’s, their caravans, tents and boats with twin many-hp Yamaha outboard engines on big traikers, and surrounded us! There goes the neighbourhood, we thought. Huge tents, awnings, gazebos, afdaks and wind screens – skerms had sprung up around big caravans and camping trailers, complete with large braais, TV satellite dishes and you-name-it!

Lovely people. We soon struck up a conversation with our nearest neighbour. The Boksburg and Benoni Fishing and Hengel Club had been coming to Vidal for their annual By-Die-See excursion for decades. The Highlight of Our Year, he told us. That night there was revelry and much smoke and brandy, but not too late – they planned an early start the next day to get their boats out to sea to fill their hatches and deep freezes. Serious fishermen, these.

Things settled and quiet descended on the coastal forest; then a big storm sprang up. A real gale. Soon the wind was howling through the trees and our trailer-top tent was a-rocking. I climbed down that treacherous ladder to check all was secured or stowed away, guy ropes tightened. Soon after I got back to bed I heard an almighty crack and the sound of something very heavy falling and striking a tent pole. Uh! Oh! I thought and listened, Dead quiet; then voices in the dark all around us, barely audible above the howling gale.

Soon a few engines were started and I thought “Here we go, they’re revving up their 4X4’s and the boat motors ready for a first-light departure.” Then a chainsaw started snarling and I thought “Give it a break, guys! Wait till morning!” but it carried on! Mayhem!

At last there was quiet. Next morning I hailed our neighbour: “Hey! Did you survive the storm?” He came scurrying over and in a hushed voice said “Yes, but Joan didn’t!”

Turns out a massive branch had fallen on top of one of their party sleeping in their tent near ours, missing the husband by inches but landing on Joan. A Durban friend of ours camping nearby went to assist, as she was a veterinarian. She had to give them the sad news that Joan’s chest was crushed, she had no chance and had died instantly. The police arrived, then a mortuary van.

Then the whole gang from the Boksburg and Benoni Fishing and Hengel Club, tight-knit friends as they were, packed up and left to accompany Joan’s husband home, the adventure over before it had really started.

We had a look at the branch: Now in pieces, it had been over 3m long and over 50cm in diameter and had fallen from about 10m up. What a bummer. As we watched, a beautiful green snake appeared on the sawn-up branch. Life and nature carries on.

We’ve always looked for the biggest, shadiest trees to camp under. Now we do a more careful assessment of where exactly to position ourselves.

~~oo0oo~~